Blue sky thinking

My parents always knew I’d be a salesman.  I can sell ice to the Eskimos and do them a pretty good deal on four years’ interest-free credit for a low low deposit.  Oil to the Arabs, I could do that too.  

I’m doing alright in here.  It was more of an adjustment in scale than attitude.  Some could see it as a comedown, going from brokering multi-million deals to haggling over the price of an ounce of snout.  The stakes are, if anything, higher.  When it’s you, personally, that’s on the line, there’s more excitement.  It’s all about risk.

I am not a fundamentally dishonest person, contrary to popular belief.  I sell stories.  I believe wholeheartedly in my version of events and, if that version of events diverges somewhat from accepted wisdom, well, I’m sure I can swing accepted wisdom around to my way of thinking eventually.

I started selling land; tiny worthless parcels of greenbelt land that would never get planning permission in a million years.  I made my fortune, but lost the lot when my company folded.  So then I sold solar panels, home security aids, legal services...  I sold advertising space, sold companies to other companies.

I can sell anything to anyone.

I can prove this statement.

This is me, selling myself.

I should be grateful, sir, if you would consider my application for a probationary sales position in your business upon my release in line with your commitment to the rehabilitation of offenders.

Full CV available on request.