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fyoot

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Literature

Digging

Miriam always looked worse in hotel mirrors.  There was something about the lighting in these places. Maybe it was the drying effect of the unfamiliar water or the biological washing powder on the sheets and towels.  Maybe it was the aging effect of a full English breakfast every morning, clogging her arteries and colon, writ large across her pores. Whatever the cause, a pallid, dry, wrinkle-faced hag with frizzy greying hair watched Miriam brush her teeth. It was 6am according to her elderly Nokia.  The wall clock in her room wasn’t working.  She wasn’t sure what year it had stopped at roughly quarter past three, but the hands

All

186 deviations
Literature

Digging

Miriam always looked worse in hotel mirrors.  There was something about the lighting in these places. Maybe it was the drying effect of the unfamiliar water or the biological washing powder on the sheets and towels.  Maybe it was the aging effect of a full English breakfast every morning, clogging her arteries and colon, writ large across her pores. Whatever the cause, a pallid, dry, wrinkle-faced hag with frizzy greying hair watched Miriam brush her teeth. It was 6am according to her elderly Nokia.  The wall clock in her room wasn’t working.  She wasn’t sure what year it had stopped at roughly quarter past three, but the hands

Featured

15 deviations
Literature

Pirates, in a battle with ninjas.

Implausibly, the double-decker bus full of trainee ninjas exploded as it reached the roundabout.  Sargeant Malcolm Forest, who was eight hours into a nine-hour shift as it was, sighed as he switched on the blues and twos and nosed out into the traffic.  “Shall I radio it in, Malc?” asked the nervous young PC Swinsome next to him.   “What do you think?” Forest snarled, thinking of his dinner congealing in the microwave.  Swearing and honking all the way (couldn’t they hear the bloody siren?), Forest succeeded in cutting a hundred-metre swathe through the traffic which some absolute arse in a beamer pulled into af

FFM 2013

31 deviations

FFM 1989 2012

30 deviations
Literature

The Last God

The Last God The old woman moves slowly through the twilit city in her widow-weeds.  She hobbles across the market-square, picking her way through empty pallets and rotted fruit.  She enters the Catedral sur Mer, her face hidden by its black veil and by the darkness of that imposing structure.  In front of the apse, she kneels to pray on the cold marble floor. There are no pews in this church, nor is there an altar.  There is only the polished floor, the vaulted roof and, in the centre, the circular fire-pit.  The old woman, heedless of her ailing knees, prays not for justice or mercy, not fo

FFM 2011

32 deviations
Literature

The third apology

"Apologies," the shop sign stated demurely, "for the inconvenience."  Howard had never seen the shop before.  He went in and bought three.  The nondescript man behind the counter professed his deep regret at the lack of change. The first apology, reduced to clear and purchased on impulse, was a general purpose one. It was printed in block capitals on cheap paper with a typewriter whose ribbon needed changing.  Howard used it almost immediately on a large, red-faced, irascible man whom he bumped into at the bus-stop, scattering paperwork across the street.  Howard intoned the words printed on

FFM 2010

33 deviations
Literature

How to disappear completely

Friday 5.30pm, and my face was pressed to the armpit of another man, with the leather strap almost cutting off the blood supply to my hand.  The groin of a stranger was touching my back every time the carriage cornered.  A girl breathed hot chocolate into my ear.  It sounds erotic, now I think about it, but it wasn’t.  The only way I can cope with that squeeze of people, the second-hand air of three hundred diseased strangers on the Jubilee Line, is by going into myself.  I become utterly absorbed in the music on my ipod.  Ray Davies is singing only to me.  Sometimes I accidentally mouth the words and attract the disinterested but oppro

Short daft proses

8 deviations
Literature

Assembly instructions

Before You Start Novices should read instructions from start to finish to avoid embarrassment later. Ensure you are wearing adequate protection for the job at hand. Power tools are not required but there’s no shame in it either Designated two person assembly (two males pictured) females may need to adjust configuration to suit. Any number may assist. Spare dowelling plugs are provided. 1 Unwrap all the parts; fold and retain the packaging for later.  Check all pieces are present, and in working order. Familiarise yourself with them, feel their heft, their quality; caress the expert workmanship, the smooth and supple finish. Try

Poemses

26 deviations
Best character sheet ever for creating awesome OCs

Nonfic

4 deviations
Literature

Vegetable heart

I moved in with my brother's family that May as a temporary measure after my emergency repatriation left me momentarily financially unsteady.  I detest the suburbs above all else.  Despite that, it was such a relief to be free from the somewhat unfortunate situation I'd landed myself into in Jeddah (long story; my fourth wife's oil sheikh father took exception to my infidelity), that for the first couple of weeks I relaxed into it.  I walked the kids to school, mowed the lawn, and generally made myself useful in the hope that I would not outstay my welcome before one or other of my little investments paid out.  It wasn't long before the subur

Short Stories

15 deviations

Napowrimo 2012

3 deviations

Scraps

37 deviations